Last Man Standing Rides Again

Opening Day this year was quite strange. So much has changed among our group…except for me. Josh and Fernando have babies, Jon is married, and I…I…I’m not working. Not that big of a change compared to starting families or getting married. Years ago when Jon, Fern, and I made the last man standing wager, I never thought about how strange it would be to be the last man standing. You see, at one point when all three of us were not dating, about the same time we came up with our days of the week, we got on this discussion of who would be married first. Fern and I thought Jon would be married first and Jon that I would be married first. In fact we all disagreed as to how the progression of us getting married would go. In light of settling the debate we made a gentlemanly wager…the first man to wed would pay the other two $100 a piece, the second man to marry would pay the other two $50 each, and whoever remained need not pay anything. It came out that the last man standing would make $150, the second would break even, and the third would lose $150, when speaking of final standing after gains and losses. We believed that this would be fair and ensure that being first to wed carried penalty while being the last man standing would be beneficial. After making it this far, squandering the money that I made off the little endeavor, I feel somehow that I have gained nothing more than a title. In fact, being the last man standing requires much more of you than taking money to the bank. I’ve now become somewhat of the Zen master straddling the two worlds of a single man and a married one.

The last man standing has many responsibilities that be is depended on for, one of which is being open to being lived vicariously through. I am the last of the three best friends that made this bet those many years ago, and hence I am an empty vessel to put hopes, dreams, and desires into. For instance, the wives of my friends would like to see me settle down and have a girlfriend or wife that would facilitate couple’s date nights. I know this because Jon and Bekah have gone so far as to use me and one of her single friends as their “married couple” to hang out with. It doesn’t happen often, but I see how Bekah wants for me to have someone I’m with so that they in turn can have a couple to be with. It’s not for a lack of wanting to have someone in my life, far from that, but more of desire to acquire someone in due time. On the flip side, the husbands want to live vicariously through me. When we were at Opening Day my brother, Jon and Fern all kept pointing women out for me to run after. “There’s one right there, run over there and offer her a beer!” I don’t do that, necessarily. I am not one to run after random women in public locations unless completely compelled to. I did see many beautiful options out there, don’t get me wrong. However it was men’s day out, so why would I be chasing women while my married friends stood back and watched?

That leads me to another one of the situations that being the last man standing brings upon me…keeper of the trust. Any man knows that he can count on his buddies to back their play. Secrets come and secrets go, but true friends create anchors for those secrets to be hidden and retrieved at will. Also, having stood as best man at all three of their sides, it is my duty as having bore witness to their unions to help maintain those unions. If that means keeping secrets, then of course I am obliged. If that means reminding a wondering eye of the love he has at home, of course I will do that. If that means babysitting so that a couple can have some time to go and be a couple, then I am there. It is having this single lifestyle that rarely conflicts with the duties I place on myself. This doesn’t mean that I would give up my post either, if I were to take to a relationship. It is not just being the last man standing that keeps me on course with my perceived responsibility to my friends, but also the fact that I am older than them. I often think of Jon and Fern as the younger brothers I never had.

I do many things in the role of the last man standing but one is required more often than others. I have to be a sounding board for their problems/concerns/questions. It is perhaps the most difficult part of being a friend, but I try like hell to be damn good at it. I experience this more and more with Jon than I did with Fern. He will seek my sage-like wisdom from time to time with quandaries in both his relationship and his life. I have done as much as I can to help him work through those things, but that brings me to my point. As the last man standing, I have to have knowledge of relationships, both emotional and physical, babies, and all manner of topics ranging from cooking to vacation locations. Luckily, I have an older brother who has taught me many of those things. I have been through two or three serious relationships that caused me to learn through experience. And having dedicated the past several years to school, I have an immense knowledge of, well, business, which doesn’t help relationships much. Well, bargaining, partnerships, and hostile takeovers can be themes of relationships, so maybe my book learning doesn’t go to waste too much in this position.

So you see, I am called on to be there for my friends and even though it becomes harder and harder to relate as they grow in their marriages, we still have some many things in common and depend on each other greatly. It is hard to believe so long ago that we made a bet about who would marry first because it seems so stupid now. But, it is shaping the future and how my life has been since then. And I am happy with that.

It's Hardcore Thursday

Having my friend Fernando in town for Opening Day on Monday made me nostalgic for our more care free days. When our friendship (Fernando, Jon, and I) was starting out we had very little responsibility and thus an abundance of free time. Our “fast-paced” lifestyle at that time didn't just culminate in one day of the week, month or year (like Opening Day). It was a week long tradition of feelings, thoughts, and actions. Our week started with Random Monday, an ode to the fact that at one point in our lives we all had a Monday off of work and just did random crap all day. Traditionally celebrated, Random Monday doesn't just involve doing random things like driving out to South Fork Ranch for no reason, but random actions like kicking off one of your flip-flops at the door of the Dillard’s at Valley View mall. The more random your actions are the better, because at one point we were actually keeping track of our actions and allotting point values to them. Random Monday is your chance to do what you've always wanted to do and blame it on a made up holiday.

Cheap Tuesday was the founder's day of our lifestyle. It all started one night when our friend Fernando realized we could have a big night out without spending that much. He was still living in his old apartment and they were having a social night with free pizza on a Tuesday night. Then, that combined with Jon realizing that Sonic has half-priced burgers on Tuesday nights and the dollar movie theater is half price as well. Everything is cheap. When celebrated in the traditional manner, you can get away with only spending five dollars on a good sized meal and a movie. This became a necessity when our funds ran low and the only way we could have a fun night out was by celebrating Cheap Tuesday. Later on, as our station in life improved, Cheap Tuesdays often turned into Moderately-Expensive Tuesdays, because we spent more money for one reason or the other. Typically, if you have a date on a Tuesday, the day turns into a Moderately-Expensive Tuesday. One time…we had an Expensive Tuesday…never again.

Everyone knows that Wednesday is hump day and already a sort of low point in the week. Thus, it was referred to as Emo Wednesday. Emo refers to the type of music typically listened to on that day as well as the state of mind you are in. For those of you who don’t know, Emo, as defined by urbandictionary.com, includes the genre of soft-core punk music that integrates unenthusiastic melodramatic 17 year olds who don’t smile, high pitched overwrought lyrics and inaudible guitar riffs with tight wool sweaters, tighter jeans, itchy scarves (even in the summer), ripped Chuck Taylors with favorite band’s signature, black square rimmed glasses, and ebony greasy unwashed hair that is required to cover at least 3/5ths of the face at an angle. We didn’t take it that far. For us, Emo referred to the type of music typically listened to on that day as well as the state of mind you were in. You let it all out (emotionally). Your emotions define you on Wednesdays. Emo type of dress is usually not adopted, but sometimes you just feel the need for a ripped shirt and girl jeans (not ever for me). You will now realize the juxtaposition of Emo Wednesday leading into Hardcore Thursday. That is why you ring in Hardcore Thursday. You welcome the renewed since of badass-ness.

Yes! It's my favorite day of the week. It is…HARDCORE THURSDAY! WOO! (Throw something) Hardcore Thursday is the day when you can let it all out (physically) and just go nuts with energy, rage, frustration, and, well, good old fashion destruction. (Throw something) I celebrate my Hardcore Thursday by giving out a big "WOO" and throwing something across the room. When celebrated traditionally, you ring in the new day, Hardcore Thursday, by going to your favorite 24 hour diner Wednesday night and sitting in your favorite seat. You count down to Thursday and when the clock strikes midnight…you give out a shout, obscene or otherwise, and throw some sugar packets at the wall. You get amped and give the person next to you a good Texas Torpedo (head-butt to the abdomen), then you tell everyone you think you hate them. It was beautiful and therapeutic and it was the cornerstone of the fast-paced lifestyle my buddies and I led.

After Hardcore Thursday was the bad sheep of the week, Thug Friday. Thug Friday is your chance to jaw jack someone for looking at you cross. Typically celebrated by ridin' dirty and wearing your cap to the side, Thug Friday is your opportunity to act like you are from the 'hood, even if you are not. "Street slang" may be adopted as your normal vocal pattern and you don't listen to anything unless it is making the windows rattle. You may choose to go in depth with Thug Friday and concentrate your attention on girls with big booties or switch to drinkin’ malt liquor, but it is not recommended. However, field trips to the real OC (Oak Cliff) and the Grove (Pleasant Grove) are advised as a way to get in touch with your roots.

Because everyone's Saturday was different, we adopted the ideal of the Make-Your-Own Saturday. The name describes it best, Make-Your-Own Saturday is a day where you can pick anything to focus on and do it to the extreme. I know it is hard to fathom, but it really is simple…if you got your little brother's football game to go to on Saturday, then it can be Pop Warner Football Saturday, and you can celebrate by spending your entire day at the park watching pee-wee football and reading the local paper articles about pee-wee football. It's simple. If you have something to do, then do it to the extreme and do it repeatedly if possible. Make-Your-Own Saturday is the be all, end all of the week. You can do whatever you want…it's the American way.

Though Sunday is the Sabbath for us and a day of rest typically, it was also a day to reflect on the past week and take stock of things. Thus, Make-up Sunday was born as a way for you to "make-up" for a day during the week you missed or that you didn't do to the extreme. Do not confuse this as the day you put lip gloss and eye shadow on…there is no day for that and if you are doing that then you should seek help (unless you are a woman). If you weren't cheap enough on Tuesday, then Sunday you just need to be a plan scrooge. If you weren't hardcore enough on Thursday, then you need to be so hardcore that someone's car ends up upside down (preferably without anyone in it). Make-up Sunday is the day to redeem yourself for your past shortcomings and to celebrate the love of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

This was the code we lived by. This was the commitment we expected. This was the fast-paced lifestyle of my buddies and I. And if at all possible, it would be nice to get back there before we all have families and responsibilities that prevent us from achieving it. I’m the only one who hasn’t taken on more responsibility this year and I’m looking to recruit. Care to join me good buddy…well do ya?

Take me out of the ball game...then leave

The Rangers trailed by three runs after six innings and didn't have a hit off Blue Jays starter Shaun Marcum on Monday. But after the game, many Rangers insisted they weren't worried. The Rangers got to both Marcum and Blue Jays closer Jason Frasor. After Vladimir Guerrero broke up the no-hit bid, Cruz hit a three-run home run in the seventh, and then the Rangers, trailing by a run, rallied for two in the bottom of the ninth for a 5-4, walk-off victory on Opening Day at the Ballpark in Arlington. A crowd of 50,299, the eighth largest in Rangers history, were able to make it out to the ballpark for Opening Day, but most bugged out before the thrilling finale. This was the first walk-off victory for the Rangers on Opening Day since 1980, when Mickey Rivers scored on a wild pitch in the ninth to beat the Yankees, 1-0. But this is the first time in Rangers history they trailed going into the bottom of the ninth on Opening Day and came back to win. Neftali Feliz was brought out of the bullpen to keep it tied but couldn't do it. Vernon Wells lined a bases-loaded one-out single to give the Blue Jays a 4-3 lead, and Washington had to call on Darren Oliver to bail out Feliz. Oliver did just that, leaving the bases loaded by striking out Lyle Overbay and getting John Buck on a weak fly to left. Those outs, plus Francisco's work in the ninth, proved huge because the Rangers weren't finished. Frank Francisco, with a scoreless ninth inning, picked up the victory. Scott Feldman allowed three runs in seven innings but was spared from picking up a loss in his first Opening Day start because of the Rangers' late-inning heroics.

Josh Hamilton led off the seventh with a walk, and Vladimir Guerrero broke up the no-hitter with a single to right. Cruz then smacked a 2-2 pitch that was off the plate and sent it through the jet stream into the Rangers' bullpen in right-center for a three-run home run. Michael Young, after Frasor came on to pitch the ninth, started off the winning rally with a double into the right-center-field gap. After Frasor struck out Hamilton, Guerrero followed with a slow but well-placed grounder up the middle. Shortstop Alex Gonzalez made a diving stop but couldn't get off a throw. Guerrero had an infield hit, leaving the tying run at third and the winning run at first. Cruz then delivered his second big hit of the game. This one was hardly a blast, but it got the job done. He looped a soft line drive over first base and down the right-field line, scoring Young and moving Guerrero to third. Cruz ended up at second base with a double and a four-RBI afternoon. Murphy then pinch-ran for Guerrero and Chris Davis was walked intentionally. That brought up Saltalamacchia, who was 0-for-3 on the afternoon. Saltalamacchia worked the count to 2-2 and then got a slider he liked. The crowd roared with delight when Jarrod Saltalamacchia, batting with one out and the bases loaded, belted one into the right-center-field alley to drive home the winning run. With the Blue Jays outfield playing in, Saltalamacchia drove one far out of their reach into the gap in right-center, and Murphy danced home with the winning run for perhaps the biggest Opening Day victory in club history.

There have been six regular-season games, one playoff game and one All-Star Game that have drawn more people to the Ballpark in Arlington than Monday's home opener. There have also been two playoff games in 1996 that remain unsurpassed in the atmosphere created at the 17-year-old ballpark lodged between Nolan Ryan Expressway and Ballpark Way. But the Rangers were more than happy to revel in the experience provided by 50,299 fans on Monday afternoon who were on hand to welcome in the 2010 season. But I wasn’t. The papers and the TV news call them fans and that may be rightfully so, because what else do you call people who show up for the Opening Day of a team’s season. I know; you call them vapid, uninspired, posers. Dallas is a city full of such people. We have all the major league sports franchises and that means there are plenty of sporting events throughout the year, but the big ones always bring out the posers. I was there on Monday and the seats that me and my friends had were wedged right in the middle of some v-neck shirt wearing, big sunglasses having douchebags and some sundress wearing, high-heeled bitches. Fans know that you don’t go to the ballpark to “get sun” or “be seen”…hell no. You go to have fun, and WATCH THE GAME! All I heard behind me was gossip about some group of friends and how so-and-so said this about them and blah-blah. All I saw in front of me was wannabe tools completely absorbed by their iPhones. Ridiculous. “The Rangers' 5-4, come-from-behind victory was made that much sweeter by playing in front of such an enthusiastic crowd on an afternoon in which the 40 millionth visitor passed through the turnstiles at the Ballpark.” A quote from the news coverage on the Rangers website that makes an awesome point about how important it was to have a big crowd there on Monday, and how that crowd should have actually cared about what was going on.

Maybe the Rangers were on to something when they asked Roger Staubach to throw out the ceremonial first pitch. The former Cowboys quarterback was known as Captain Comeback during his Hall of Fame NFL career and that may have set the tone for the afternoon. After Sgt. Dana Bowman (ret.) made a majestic parachute jump into the ballpark to deliver the baseball, Staubach threw a high hard one to injured second baseman Ian Kinsler as the crowd roared in delight. But seriously, there was almost more applause for Roger the Dodger than there was for Cruz’s home run. I have to say that the overwhelming positive response Rangers manager Ron Washington received in his pregame introduction was nice, considering the recent news about his drug use during the season last year. But, this again was at the beginning of the game and most of the “fans” stayed with it through six tough innings as Blue Jays pitcher Shaun Marcum flirted with an Opening Day no-hitter. And the majority was still there when patience rewarded them with Nelson Cruz’s three-run home run to tie the game in the seventh. But, as hope waned in the eighth innings, the crowd started to funnel out in droves. Don’t let the news fool you because that 50,000 plus crowd had dwelled by at least 20,000 by the time the real important parts of the game started. Important parts that brought the remaining die-hard crowd to a full-throttle roar and they stayed that way right up to the end when Jarrod Saltalamacchia's bases-loaded single in the bottom of the ninth brought home the winning run.

All I can say is that where are those 50,299 “fans” after the opening week of the season? Where are they in the grueling months of July and August when the ballpark is like a pressure cooker and it reaches 100 degrees in the shade? I love big crowds at sporting events because they do create an atmosphere of excitement, but that’s just atmosphere. A smaller crowd of real fans can create the same excitement, trust me. I went to over 15 games last season and the crowds averaged under slightly over 10,000 and all of them were just as boisterous as that crowd yesterday. So, next time you are thinking about going to a game, ask yourself if you want to go for the sports, for the game itself, or do you just want to be able to tell everyone at the office the next day that you were there. If it is more important to be seen than to be involved, then don’t buy those tickets and let a real fan have a chance to go.

All News is Just News

One thing I enjoy about reading news online is getting to read the comments that people leave after they’ve read the article (or scanned, or ignored the article). I do sometimes get infuriated about what people write in the comments and that prompts me to write in my blog. No, I don’t leave comments because I don’t want to be critiqued or applauded by some of those same yahoos that leave comments. Needless to say, some people should just keep their comments to themselves. It’s almost embarrassing how often simple word are misspelled or the wrong syntax is used. Some of those people may have English as a second language, so those types of things can be forgiven, but the rest of them who were educated (I would hope) at some point in their lives should be able to write clearly and coherently. But, that may be a lot to ask. Anyway, I’ve just read some things that I felt I needed to comment about, so they are going in my blog.

First, I have been keeping abreast of the child abuse situation with the church and wrote about that already in a blog last week, but I just have to say something. I have come to the conclusion that maybe it is time for another Vatican Council. In the sixty when the church realized the world was changing and they need to keep up with that change by revamping some practices the Second Vatican Council was formed. I was born in ’82 so I don’t know what live was like before Vatican II except from what my parents and religious education teachers told me. Themes of ecclesiology, liturgy, scripture, and the rule of bishops were discussed, researched and modified to fit a more modern world. The most present and apparent change from Vatican II was the increased involvement of lay people in the liturgy. Making this change brought people closer to their faith than they ever had been before. Well, with the increase in scandal among the Church it seems apparent that there needs to be another council. Sweeping change not just handed down by the Pope but by a council where ideas are freely shared and debated is what is needed to drive action. The First Vatican Council was held nearly a century before the Second Vatican Council and it would be fitting that the Third Vatican Council come only a half century after that.

Second, the Anglicans are at it again. Ireland has been a land contended over by Anglicans and Catholics for a long time and now that there is scandal in the Catholic Church in Ireland, the Anglicans are putting their two cents in. I’ve said that I respect and admire all paths to God, so I’ll try to be brief and uncontroversial. As I see it, that idea of accepting all faiths means that when one faith or another is in peril, then we should back them up. Well, the Archbishop of Canterbury Rowan Williams does not agree. "I was speaking to an Irish friend recently who was saying that it's quite difficult in some parts of Ireland to go down the street wearing a clerical collar now," Williams told the BBC. "And an institution so deeply bound into the life of a society, suddenly becoming, suddenly losing all credibility — that's not just a problem for the church, it is a problem for everybody in Ireland, I think." Excuse me? Losing all credibility? I don’t recall the church losing all credibility in the United States when this happened, but apparently it is different in Ireland. I admit that Catholicism and the Irish are deeply intertwined, but that should only strengthen the resolve of the Irish to get past this dark time. I’d appreciate that if the Anglican Church has nothing positive to say about the Catholic Church, then they say nothing at all. Trust me, I could come up with some disparaging remarks about Anglicans if I wanted to (like they couldn’t pick a side during the Reformation, so they just stayed in the middle) but I won’t. 

Lastly, let me broach the subject of financial overhaul in the United States. One of Obama’s next points of contention is creating financial overhaul legislation he hopes will prevent the actions that caused the recent economic downturn. Who is in charge of coming up with this legislation? Who came up with the health care reform bill? Well, health care professionals, insurance agency officials, and doctors weren’t included in that decision, so I’m guessing economists and financial professionals are not being involved in the financial overhaul decision. So, what are we going to get out of this little gem? Who the hell knows?! Right now, Democratic leaning legislation would give the government authority to split up big financial companies and force the industry to pay for its most massive failures. This means more regulation and bigger penalties. Republicans have offered alternative legislation that calls for new bankruptcy proceedings to dismantle failing institutions. This means keeping current regulation, but facilitating failing business’ exit from the market, softening the blow to the economy. Some of you may know this but most may not, I have a degree in economics with a focus on finance and international markets. In my opinion, both of these are wrong, but the idea of pure capitalism is wrong, so it’s hard to pin down what could work. Honestly, as a Republican, I don’t believe in increased regulation, but as an economist it is hard to argue against some level of legislation to maintain market stability. There has to be a middle ground between the supposedly lack regulation we have now and the extremes that the Democrats want to go to. There has to be compromise based on sound economic principle. I don’t have time to crunch the numbers, but there are economists out there that do, so why are they not involved in the legislation process? Answer me that.