Where to date...where not to date...who knows

It’s been quite some time since I emerged on the town with a lady friend of the romantic persuasion. Dating doesn’t come easily or quickly to a guy who is more thought than action. Often times, it takes so long that I move out of the dating potential zone and into the friend zone. But ask most of my lady friends and they’ll tell you I’m a great guy (one time, one of them said that I would be worth the wait, referring to how long it takes me to make a move). Considering how great a guy I am (supposedly) then no matter what I do in a date type situation, the woman with me would dig it. However, I haven’t dated in so long it seems like I need help before I endeavor to ask my next someone out. I decided to do some research on dating to see if there was anything that had changed since my last relationship. Apparently there have been some developments. Aside from relationships requiring more knowledge of your phone than of your date, there also seems to be greater importance placed on the actual date itself. You’d like to think the success of a first date is all about chemistry, connection, good conversation…but sometimes, where you are and what you’re doing can play a key role in whether things go well or not. Not a new development I guess, but seriously I had a relationship start out on a first date of going to Sonic and going truck shopping. So, I guess if you want to start a potential relationship off on good footing then there are some places you just don’t take your love interest.

We’ll start with a pretty obvious one…family functions. Your date will be nervous enough trying to impress you (woman try to impress men these days, wow, I am out of it), so don’t make someone audition for family and friends, too. Who would need all that pressure? If you are doing this than either you are incredibly comfortable with the normalness of your family or they are too involved in your lives. I didn’t need research for this; I just know it is a terrible idea. The next one seems pretty straight forward and that is not taking a first date to a dance club. Loud music, pulsing lights, guys without shirts… need I say more? A dance club is a hunting ground where everyone’s on the prowl. That would be very uncomfortable especially if you don’t know your first date that well. Think about all the bad things that could happen in this environment: another guy catches her eye, another girl catches your eye, or one or both of you can’t dance (distinct possibility in my case). Both of these venues are obviously bad ideas.

This next one threw me off a little in the first place, but thinking about it more made sense. I’m talking about going to the movies. This was a staple of dating in high school, but apparently it is a little less appreciable when you get older. You spend two hours (or more) staring at a screen, not getting to know each other…plus there’s always a risk the flick will contain a risqué scene that’ll create an awkward moment (happened to me once, awkward…). Plus, you don’t know if she will appreciate your choice in movies or have the very negative reaction of, “Why did you take me to this?” Another one that surprised me a little was the idea of sporting events being a no-no. This is a foundation in my current repertoire. Fresh air (mostly), being close together for a good reason (lack of seat space), and having someone to share the joy of victory or the agony of defeat with seem like a pretty good deal. But, I guess any place that involves face paint, the wave, and angry guys screaming at the referee is no venue for a soul mate connection, according to my research. Some people are of the opinion that sporting events don’t bring out the best in men, but I am not one of those guys, so why should there be a problem.

I am going to touch on the last first date locales that are not good pretty quickly, so I hope you keep up. The beach is out. I love long walks on the beach (yes, I’m sensitive ladies), but I guess that doesn’t mean I should do it on a first meeting. The issue with this one seems to be on the woman’s side, i.e. what do they wear? Comedy clubs are out. If the comic is bad, that lame vibe will extend to the entire evening, apparently. It’s true that comedy is great when it’s good, but horrid when it’s bad. I don’t know about date ruining bad. This one kills me, but mini-golf is out. Trying to outsmart that little windmill is great fun for all ages, but some people seem to think it juvenile. Plus, women don’t like to look ungraceful (from what I hear) and mini-golf is one of those activities that can such the gracefulness right out of you. This is going to kill me, too, but museums are out. A first date is a time to kick back and relax, not solemnly contemplate the works of the great masters according to research. One site said that it’s a little too much intellectual stimulation for a first date. Well, when you’re seeking someone to stimulate your intellect as well as your loins, then it should be a good idea. This one should be a no-brainer, though some may disagree, but coffee bars are out. Some people might think that meeting for coffee is an easy, breezy way to meet. But let’s face it: It’s hardly romantic or fun or, well, worth it.

So, I guess after all of that I learned that there is only one thing to do on a first date…go out to eat/drink. Apparently there is nothing wrong with sharing a meal or a drink with someone as a first date. Though, there are some hurdles to clear with that idea. One, restaurant choice is a difficult thing. If you are like me, you are not picky, so you want her input about where to go. But, if you ask her where she wants to go, it makes you look weak and indecisive (I recently had this conversation with someone who accused me of being indecisive). A very valuable tip would be to avoid theme restaurants (according to my research), because who wants to get to know you over a “dragon egg” at Medieval Times. The other problem you may face is finding someplace where you can actually have a conversation. Sometimes I don’t hear so well, thus being in a loud restaurant distracts me from being able to carry on a discussion. I’ll just throw out one more thing to think about…expense/fanciness. Sure you want to impress her with the gobs of money you’ll throw down just to eat food with her, but sometimes places like that can be really uncomfortable. What if one of you is not dressed appropriately? What if the menu is in French and neither of you speaks it (embarrassing, but could be endearing as well)? From what I have learned, it hasn’t gotten any easier to go out on a first date, but it hasn’t really gotten harder either. I just need to get someone to actually go out with me.