I should have enlisted...

After watching the series of Afghan and Iraq war movies that have come about the past few years, I have realized something…I should have enlisted. It is not like I haven’t thought about it before. I’ve thought about it several times, in fact. After reviewing my life over the past several years, I realize that my time and talents may have better been suited for something greater, something more important that slinging tires or answering cell phone troubleshooting questions. It would have been nice to do something proud and noble, something in service to others (I know I was a youth minister, but I’m talking about something else). I’m the only man in my immediate family that hasn’t done something like this. My father, my father is a great man. Everything I needed to know about being a man I learned from watching my father be the man (and my brother taught me the rest). Some of you may have heard me say this before and others may not know, but my father served in Vietnam. And my brother, my brother is a hero. He puts his life on the line to protect people who are sometimes too stupid (or drunk) to protect themselves. He’s a firefighter. Not for the paycheck or the cool toys, but because he believes in being able to help others. These are the measurements I place myself against.

My father enlisted in the Army after he completed his undergraduate degree. Enlisting is a pretty noble thing to do when there’s a war going on, which there certainly was. But, when you throw in the draft, he was kind of just making it happen on his own terms. He went in, graduated basic training, and though he was a candidate for officer training, he decided to move on to specialized training instead. He served in Vietnam as part of an artillery unit. Up until a couple years ago, that’s all I knew about his time in the Army. He never really talked about it in front of us. I don’t know why, but he just never did. Josh said that he would here Dad telling war stories with the other dads on Boy Scout campouts, but Josh never recalled any of them. A couple years ago, my father started telling us stories. I guess he decided we were old enough to hear them, and too old to be drafted or enlist. The one that sticks out in my mind is more funny than scary or gruesome, well, it is kind of gruesome. They used to use plastic explosive to make fires to heat up their MREs. Not the intended purpose of plastic explosive, but Dad said it worked really well during the rainy season. One day they were heating up their lunches and a call for fire support came in. Well, they had to pack up their shit and get to work quickly, so they jumped up and kicked dirt on their little fires to put them out. Well, one of the guys wasn’t thinking and tried stomping his fire out. Plastic explosive is tricky, especially when it has be lit on fire, and the shock from stomping it set if off. The guy blew his own leg off. Funny, a little gruesome, but they all learned a valuable lesson that day. My father came back from the war, got a job, went back to school, got a better job, married my mother, had a family, and has lived a successful life. He’ll tell you, some of the discipline he learned while enlisted got him where he is today.

The first time I thought of enlisting was a few days after 9/11. My brother and I were talking on the phone and some of the guys he knew from the fire department he was working at were going up to New York to help in the recovery effort. He knew some of the skills he learned during training would be needed in a war effort. He asked if I would consider joining and I told him I had already thought about it. But, his desires fizzled with the realization that if he left then, he’d just have to complete the rest of his training when he got home. And I, well, I was a sophomore in college. I was right in the middle of the biggest undertaking in my life to that date. I promised myself if they ever asked blatantly for men to enlist, I would. They never did. But, I almost enlisted again after I graduated college. The promise of a job for every degree holder that was rampant when I entered college had turned into record unemployment. I couldn’t find a job to save my life, at least not a job that would pay me what I thought a college graduate deserved. At the time, the girl I was dating freaked out when I mentioned it. Since we were talking about getting married, I figured the last thing I needed to do was run off to war. Responsible, but foolish. If I was going to do it, then would have been the best time. I was still in relatively good shape, I had no real responsibilities, and my degree would have afforded me better opportunities once I was in. I toyed with the idea on and off for four years before getting beyond draft age and enrolling in grad school. I missed my chance.

I look back on it now as a regret. The same as any other kind of regret you may have in your life. It’s nothing that nags me or keeps me up at night, but I feel like I might have missed something that could have been really important to me. Discipline, honor, respect, loyalty…these all qualities I think I possess and all qualities I think the military looks for. Being smarter than the average person doesn’t hurt your chances enlisting, either. I think about it now more than ever as I approach the end of my graduate work. I realize that the job market may not be any better than it was when I completed undergrad. I fear I may not be able to find a job or a place in this world. I’m too damn old and run down to think about enlisting now. With every passing day my shoulder hurts more. And I can always tell when it’s about to rain because my knee swells up. I’m an old man. These have been ever present since high school and even before. Plus, I have low arches and what is often called knock-knees (K-legs in some countries; technically genu valgum). Pretty sure these might have precluded me from service, but who knows. If you asked me tomorrow what I’ve regretted thus far in my life, aside from that long relationship I had and not slowing down that day I ruined my old truck, I’d say “I should have enlisted”.