Hindsight is 20/20

Something struck me today. Not physically, I am alright. I mean mentally. It occurred after receiving one of those emails from facebook. Ya’ll know the ones…someone has commented on something or other on your facebook page. It took a while for me to be struck by this thing, this epiphany, if you will. Almost two hours later, on my drive to school, which I’m currently in. Stat is boring enough as it is, but when you’re tired and you arrive to class late, it just makes it worse. Anyway, back to my momentary enlightening. It seems that when you are growing up in the years between your junior year of high school and your career that everyone wants to know what your five year plan is. When you’re in high school and college, it is so easy to let your mind run wild with the possibilities of who you will be, but often you just are off the mark. That’s right, I’m going to be writing about how life throws you curveballs and you never end up where you thought you would. Just as boring as stat, I know, but I’m going to be talking about me personally, so you may be able to relate.

If my life had gone with my five year plan, five years ago, I would be married right now. Funny, considering I am probably the furthest from getting married right now in my life than I have ever been. But yes, I was in that serious of a relationship five years ago that I thought I would be married by 2009. Some of you may think that is sad, but for me it just reaffirms for me the feeling I’ve always had that God has got my back. If I were married to the girl I was going to be married to, I would probably be miserable. And, to make that situation worse, we probably would have brought a child into this world along with that ill advised marriage. Don’t get me wrong, I loved that girl very much back then, but I was young and dumb and she was even younger and dumber. I was blinded by my love for her to the obvious flaws not only in our relationship but also in each other. I’ve grew up much since then and been through other relationships along that way that have shown me the difference between the love I had for her and the love that you are supposed to have for someone you plan on marrying. Maybe she has grown up too, and we would have matured together into a positive relationship with one another, but I highly doubt that. If anything, we would have probably just grown apart naturally if she had decided to move on to “better” things. Yeah, you don’t do that to someone you really love.

If my life had gone with my five year plan of five years ago I would be working a marginally unfulfilling corporate job, or been downsized out of such a job by now. I had hoped, or more accurately assumed, that after college I was going to be handed a white collar, cubicle, nine to five job like my father told me would be waiting for me if I got my degree. I would have been relatively happy with that. Menial, sit and work, jobs seem to favor me. I am quiet, focused and motivated by perks, which most of these jobs offer. But, if this would have happened, I would have never taken a chance on being a youth minister. I would have never worked one week to make ends meet. I would have never gained a vast knowledge of tires or cell phones. I’d be a boring person with a boring job. Plus, I probably wouldn’t be back in school working on my MBA if I had gotten one of those jobs. So, in essence, there is another flaw in my five year plan that I thought would work perfectly at the time and now see how stupid it would have been. With the way the economy is going, I might have lost the “dream job” and ended up working at NTB to make ends meet. Huh, I guess maybe the five year plan would have put me in the same place in that regard. Don’t get me wrong, I am getting my MBA so that I can get one of these jobs, but I think I will appreciate it ten times more now than I would have then.

My five year plan of five years ago also included one more thing…the American dream. Yeah, a house a dog and a new car in the driveway, all the stuff that the true American dream entails. I wanted it all. I didn’t want something too fancy, though. A nice three bedroom, two bath, older home with a good sized yard and a garage. That is all I ever really fantasized about when it came to a residence. Front porch would be nice, but not necessary and of course I would have liked a good size kitchen where I could work my culinary magic. A Bloodhound or Great Dane running in the yard would have tied it all together. Oh, and let us not forget the car (truck), a new model Chevy Silverado 2500 Heavy Duty crew cab standard bed 4-wheel drive diesel. It would be a man’s truck, for the man of the house. Tough enough to handle the beatings I would give it on the weekends taking it to the lake and hauling supplies to fix up the house, but roomy and comfortable enough to pile the guy’s in for boy’s weekend and Opening Day of the Ranger’s season. Well, that is why it is a five year plan, not a five year definite. I’m still at home with my folks…don’t even have a place of my own, though I pretty much own the upstairs now. I don’t have my own dog…just family dogs that only pay attention to me when there’s food on my plate or they need to go outside. I don’t have the new truck…but I do have the truck that I bought and have paid for with my own money, which is just as good, even though it isn’t a diesel. American dreams can wait for me to make more than twenty grand a year after taxes.

As you have read, if my life had stayed the course it seemed to be on five years ago, I would be a completely different person. I wouldn’t be the Aaron that most of you know and respect (maybe even love, who knows). I probably wouldn’t have become friends with my two best friends, Jon and Fernando. I probably wouldn’t have developed the great relationships I have with my cousins now. I wouldn’t nearly respect my parents as much as I do now. I wouldn’t be as devote and knowledgeable about Catholicism as I am. I probably wouldn’t have reconnected with dear friends from high school like I have. I never would have learned a proper two-step or gained an appreciation for reggaeton music. Life just wouldn’t be the same.

Sometimes the best laid plans are just crap.