Civilized social graces means "take a bath"

Almost every man I know would agree with me on this…if we didn’t have to try to be clean and look good, we wouldn’t. If there wasn’t a basic societal pressure to not be offensive both visually and to the nostrils, men would still be slightly more than cavemen. This is where the live of the bachelor can be quite different than that of the non-bachelor. I am faced every day with the daunting task of personal grooming to impress. I know this for a fact from my married friends. Once you begin cohabitation in the bonds of matrimony, the need to impress more than one person who is already impressed with you seems to slip away. But, as a bachelor, you never know when you are going to come across that potential lady friend and looking like you just came out of a two week expedition in the bush is not the best start. I’m just saying, when I know I’m going to be coming across new people, potentially new and attractive women, I do everything I can to make an impression.

Why am I talking about this? There are two good reasons. The first one is concerning something I experienced last night. My global marketing professor is one of the nicest, funniest, and strangest guys in the world. We had our midterm exam last night and after every midterm in every class he teaches he takes the whole class out for a pizza dinner. So I went to the pizza dinner last night after the exam and of course I had a good time because I have really close friends in that class and like I said, the prof is a trip. We were sitting there, eating pizza, drinking beer, and shooting bull about jobs and relationships when in walks this tall, attractive woman who makes a bee line for our table. Apparently, this tall drink of water is in our class! How did I not know this? Well, tall women are my kryptonite and I was on the verge of making a move until I realized that I looked like hell. I have a two week beard, haven’t shaved my head, and was nursing a serious hangover…not impressive or sexy. I missed an opportunity to break the ice right there.

The second reason I am talking about this is that I have a new opportunity tonight. A close friend from high school who I reconnected with at my reunion is having a birthday dinner tonight. I know what those of you who know me personally are thinking…it’s TCU-SMU tonight, the Battle of the Iron Skillet, why is he going to a birthday dinner? Well, I’m TiVo-ing the game, so don’t tell me anything about it, but I care about my friends. If you’re one of my friends, you know that I go out of my way to be there for people who are important to me. Also, this is an opportunity to expand my horizons a little. The birthday girl has different sets of friends that I am not a part of. New people, new women to be introduced to is a great proposition. This means the operation to grow the beard out for Halloween is going to hit a snag. I am shaving it off tonight to be presentable. But, I will go back to the beard growing tomorrow.

The point I am trying to make is that personal grooming is an important part of the bachelor lifestyle. I go through several rituals to prepare myself for being out among the potential lady friends. As you may have seen, heard, or read about, I am voluntarily bald. I shave my head to reduce the shock of seeing a man in his twenties with thinning hair. Well, it isn’t the easiest thing in the world (I have a new appreciation for women who shave their legs regularly). I shave my head every other day. Since I’ve got the razor out, I usually shave my face on those days too. I have a time tested and well planned out combination of fragrances and deodorants and antiperspirants that keep me comfortable and feeling fresh. I always brush before leaving the house. Clean teeth and fresh breathe are endlessly important. I almost always have a shirt on that has a collar. It means that I look slightly more polished than the other guy who is wearing an Affliction shirt or whatever most douchebags are wearing these days, but still casual.

Appearance is everything to a bachelor. The nice car, clean and organized house, and personal appearance are all staples of the bachelor life. This is what I have learned over the years (especially recently). So I take things seriously when it comes to making the right impression through personal hygiene. Sure, it seems shallow, and it is…but in an open market (the dating world) the company with the most visible/tangible assets is going to attract investors (sorry, I’m watching Wall Street right now). Now, I’m not necessarily trying to find someone right now, but it never hurts to be prepared. And that’s all grooming is…preparation for being out among civilized company.