Catholic Answer Series: What to do with your hands?

As I was standing in church this morning for the saying of the Our Father, I felt the same uneasiness I have been feeling for years now. It is the uneasiness of being one of the few people who still folds their hands during this prayer while the rest of the congregation has their hands raised in praise or is holding hands with the person next to them. I have always folded my hands during this prayer, except for the few occasions while working with the youth when I would hold hands in a prayer circle as a sign of unity with them. Today I felt especially out of place due to the fact that I was crowded in with people on either side of me, both of them holding their arms up in praise during one of the most solemn and important prayers of the Mass. It sparked my interest to find more information about what the “right” or “wrong” thing to do during that prayer, seeing as I was taking a firm stand against the “praise and worship” hands that everyone else seems to be sporting these days. I am not against standing in this way for the Lord’s Prayer, necessarily, but come on, we’re not Protestants.

Apparently this is a common liturgical question since I am not the only one with an opinion on the subject. Actually, there is no norm as to what posture the laity should adopt during the Lord’s Prayer at Mass. The “General Instruction of the Roman Missal” (the official instruction manual for the Mass, which I carry with me to Mass every Sunday) is silent on this particular issue. As such, besides the commonly accepted praying gesture of folding hands (which should be literally interpreted as the right way), there may be some legitimate room for variety…but only insofar as the practice does not contradict local regulations or disrupt the prayerfulness of the Mass.

The posture of outstretched arms is called the “orans” position, and was a common sign of praise and adoration in the early church. During the development of the Roman Catholic liturgy, this posture became closely associated with the intercessory role of the priest on behalf of the people. The recent appearance of uplifted hands among the congregation probably originated in charismatic communities, but has since gained wider use. If it is done, individuals should be careful not to obscure the unique role of the ordained presider. It may be helpful to consider that even in concelebrated Masses; only the principal celebrant (not all the priests) maintains the “orans” posture while “Deliver us, Lord, from every evil…” is prayed.

The practice of holding hands is also very widespread. It is a devotional practice that can be very beautiful, and many families do so as part of their domestic piety during prayer. It might make sense if couples, families, or close-knit groups wish to hold hands during the Lord’s Prayer at Mass; but those who do this must guard against three things. First, this posture should not be mandated or broadly encouraged for the entire congregation. Holding hands can be harmless if conducted with dignity and if nobody is pressured into it. Those who hold hands must recognize and respect that many are uncomfortable with such an intimate posture, which often requires a strong sense of personal familiarity. Second, this practice should never detract from filial adoration of God, which is a focal point of the Our Father and of the entire Mass. The end of the Catechism of the Catholic Church is devoted to the Lord’s Prayer, and No. 2781 says this: “When we pray to the Father, we are in communion with him and with his Son, Jesus Christ. Then we know and recognize him with an ever new sense of wonder. Therefore, the liturgical recitation of the Our Father must not be self-centered, or otherwise distract from what should be a humble disposition before the Father’s transcendence. It is not primarily about us, but about God. Third, it would be misguided to hold hands during the Our Father if it is meant to promote a sense of unity or community that is allegedly lacking in the liturgy. Not only can this easily become superficial or devolve into a worldly understanding of solidarity, but the principle source of unity should always be the liturgy itself…especially the Eucharist and the reception of Holy Communion. We are preparing to enter into real communion with God while asking him to “keep us free from sin,” so that we may more perfectly live our adoption as his sons and daughters in the bond that is the body of Christ. Our goal is elevation into the community of saints.

So, although many practices are not explicitly forbidden, any extra actions or postures during the Lord’s Prayer must ultimately be evaluated according to whether they keep intact the integrity and reverence that are so fundamental to the Mass. In other words, there is no definite “right” or “wrong” way to participate in the communal recitation of the Our Father, except to say that it should be done with God in your heart.

I'm a Right-Wing Extremist

It seems that I have made the Department of Homeland Security’s watch list. Department of Homeland Security Sec. Janet Napolitano has turned her attention away from acts of Islamic jihad on American soil (which she now refers to as "man-caused disasters"). Instead, her department is sounding the alarm over an unquantified "resurgence" in "right-wing extremism activity." On April 7, DHS sent a nine-page warning memo to law enforcement offices across the country titled "Right-wing Extremism: Current Economic and Political Climate Fueling Resurgence in Radicalization and Recruitment." Yes, me being part of an active conservative group that opposes abortion, favors strict immigration enforcement, lobbies to protect Second Amendment rights, protests big government, advocates federalism or represents veterans who believe in any of the above qualifies me as being a “right-wing extremist.” The report of April 7, includes a sweeping definition of the threat: "Right-wing extremism in the United States can be broadly divided into those groups, movements and adherents that are primarily hate-oriented (based on hatred of particular religious, racial or ethnic groups), and those that are mainly antigovernment, rejecting federal authority in favor of state or local authority, or rejecting government authority entirely. It may include groups and individuals that are dedicated to a single issue, such as opposition to abortion or immigration." You cannot ignore the context or the timing of this DHS report. It's no small coincidence that Napolitano's agency disseminated the assessment just a week before the nationwide April 15 Tax Day Tea Party protests. The grassroots events organized by fiscal conservatives, independents, Libertarians and, yes, even some Blue Dog Democrats were fueled by the "current economic and political climate" of bipartisan profligate spending and endless taxpayer-funded bailouts. The growing success of the loose-knit movement has invited scorn, ridicule and fear-mongering from Obama's supporters. Liberal bloggers have likened the Tea Party movement to neo-Nazis, militias and even Weather Underground terrorists. The Obama DHS report is an overarching indictment of conservatives. "Right-wing extremist chatter on the Internet continues to focus on the economy, the perceived loss of U.S. jobs in the manufacturing and construction sectors, and home foreclosures," the assessment warns. When asked, DHS spokeswoman Sara Kuban could not explain who was responsible for this "extremist chatter," she could not and would not name names. The only “extreme” I see here is the use of fear-based and buzz catching words in this report to disguise what the true issue at hand is. If you can redefine dissenting opinion as "hate," you can brand your political opponents as "extremists" and you can marginalize electoral threats. “Antigovernment”…“Pro-enforcement”…“Disgruntled"? Feeling taxed enough already and "recruiting" and "radicalizing" your friends and neighbors through "chatter on the Internet"? We are all right-wing extremists now. Welcome to the club.

I had no idea how important this week's nationwide anti-tax tea parties were until hearing liberals denounce them with such ferocity. Probably upset that they hadn’t come up with a clever idea like that to protest something they battered former President Bush over. Media coverage has been mixed on the subject, with right-leaning news agencies and bloggers praising them and supporting the idea (ahem) while their left-leaning counterparts accuse the protesters of being “crazy people” and childishly joke that these are “tea bagging” parties (referring to a dubious homosexual sexual practice). But, they both seem to be missing the point behind these tea parties and protests. The point of the tea parties is to note the fact that the Democrats' modus operandi is to lead voters to believe they are no more likely to raise taxes than Republicans, get elected and immediately raise taxes. Apparently, the people who actually pay taxes consider this a bad idea.

The problem with Democratic tax policy is that they almost always raise taxes on those who are most productive in society. All Democrats for the last 30 years have tried to stimulate the economy by giving "tax cuts" to people who don't pay taxes. Evidently, offering to expand welfare payments isn't a big vote-getter. Yes, I’m getting back on the topic of the Obama stimulus plan. I’m a Republican and for all of Bush’s shortcomings, I considered him a fine president compared to some alternatives. And even Bush had a stimulus plan where they mailed checks out to everyone. Of course, that didn’t stimulate anything, and we’ve sunk deeper into the hole we’re in now. Now we’re faced with President Obama’s stimulus package, which is the mother of all pork bills with earmarks for anyone and everyone who showed up for session that day. And all that government spending on the Democrats' constituents will be paid for by raising taxes on the productive. This forces and even coerces the productive to will work less, adopt tax shelters, barter instead of sell, turn to an underground economy…and the government will get less money. California tried this Obama style soak-the-productive-in-tax "stimulus" plan years ago and was hailed as the perfect exemplar of Democratic governance. In just a few years, Democrats had turned California into a state, or as it's now known, a "job-free zone", with a $41 billion deficit, a credit rating that was slashed to junk-bond status and a middle class now located in Arizona. Democrats governed California the way Democrats always govern. They bought the votes of government workers with taxpayer-funded jobs, salaries and benefits and then turned around and accused the productive class of "greed" for wanting not to have their taxes raised through the roof. Now, the only way out for California is to tax anything and everything, including Botox and steroids. California was, in fact, a laboratory of Democratic policies. The rabbit died, so now Obama is trying it on a national level.

The perfect bar bet with a liberal would be to wager that massive government deficits in the '80s were not caused by Reagan's tax cuts. If you casually mentioned that you thought Reagan's tax cuts brought in more revenue to the government…which they did…you could get odds in Hollywood and Manhattan.

(Information care-of Michelle Malkin and Ann Coulter)

What-a-burger!

I have just indulged in one of my weaknesses. It is perhaps the greatest feeling in the world. Possible, it could be a cure for depression, boredom, and most importantly…hunger. It is one of the few places that still offers to serve it “just like you like it” without taking an eternity to make it. It is a Mecca for late night drinkers and all hours workers. It transcends cultural and economic boundaries. The only fast food place I go to on a regular basis where the buns taste fresh and delicious. It is where they push the taste envelope with sandwiches that include peppercorn ranch dressing or, dare I say it, A-1 Thick and Hearty sauce. The only place that I will wait for the 11:00PM breakfast switch over, just to go. Literally a piece of heaven on earth, this is the place where I would go if I could choose the place I would go to when I die. I’m talking about Whataburger. Some, who are in to the brevity thing, refer to it as W-burger. But, if you truly revere the atmosphere, the food, and the history, then you have to say the whole name.

Whataburger was established almost 60 years ago, yet it is still relevant today. Whataburger is a Texas tradition, and if you believe it, a landmark in some small Texas towns. It’s a tradition, need I say more. The first Whataburger was founded in 1950 by Harmon Dobson on Ayers Street in Corpus Christi, Texas. He had a simple goal, to serve a burger so big that it took two hands to hold and so good that with one bite customers would say, “What a burger!” He succeeded on both accounts and turned that one little burger stand into a legend known throughout Texas and the South (taken directly from the Whataburger website). More than half a century later, with Harmon’s son, Tom, at the company helm, Whataburger still remains family-owned and operated. Employees at Whataburger are even referred to as Family Members and it is the privilege and promise of each and every one to uphold the tradition that Harmon began. So now with more than 700 Whataburger restaurants across ten states, road-trippers and hometown folks alike continue gathering under the big orange and white roofs for the fresh made to order burgers and friendly service. You need only ask yourself one question, “Do I love Whataburger enough to sport some Whataburger gear?” if you do, then you can go to the Whatastore on the website and order shirts, hats, mugs, and computer/home accessories. I am trying to decide which shirt to buy.

How pronounced is the love for Whataburger? Ask my friend Fernando, who came into town last weekend from Atlanta. There are no Whataburgers in Atlanta. So what is one of the things he said he had to do while he was here? Go to Whataburger, of course. I went with him one time, but I didn’t ask how many other times he went while here. If I had to guess, I’d venture to say three. He was only here three days. Or how about this example…there are no Whataburgers near my house. I have to travel at least fifteen minutes in one of three directions to get to one. I do it…at least once a week. And let’s not forget my other Whataburger loving friend Jon. There is one right by his apartment. There is also a Taco Bell, Jack in the Box, Sonic, and Wendy’s within the same distance. But, when we’ve had a few adult beverages and want to satisfy our hunger, there is only one place we go. You guessed it, Whataburger.

This is not to say that I don’t go to other fast food joints when I’m out and about and need to get some grub. When I’m at work, I get my lunch nearly every day from Subway. I like the value menu at Wendy’s because you can get a lot of food for not a lot of money. I, like former wrestling superstar Stone Cold Steve Austin, have been known to stop at Sonic and get a SuperSonic Jalapeno Cheese Burger. And, of course, I’m a slave to McDonald’s McChicken. But, if I want to really, and mean really, enjoy my fast food meal, then I have to find myself a Whataburger. Let us not be confused here. I am referring to places that I often drive through, so Dairy Queen, which I go in and sit down at usually, is not included in this discussion. Everyone knows DQ is the Texas stop sign, and I treat it with the dignity it deserves, by going in and having a seat to enjoy my steak finger basket. Or I order it inside and go and eat it on the tailgate of my truck, if the weather is nice enough. That is neither here nor there though. The true happiness of my fast food dealings lives and dies with Whataburger. Enough said.

Easter! The return of the Catholic Answers Series?

HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE! MAY THE BLESSINGS OF THE RISEN LORD BE POURED OUT UPON YOU DURING THIS MOST HOLY SEASON! My devoted followers, who are few and very (VERY) far between, probably noticed that I didn't write anything this weekend. I'm sure they were waiting with bated breath as hour after hour passed by, refreshing their MySpace pages periodically to see if I had posted anything yet. I know you were disappointed to see that I didn't write anything and rightly so, for I am the inspiration of the spiritual and mental growth within yourself. But, it was a busy and significant weekend. The Easter Triduum…Holy Thursday evening through Easter Sunday evening…is the "high point" of the Church Year. The Latin word triduum means "a three-day period." We use the word to name collectively Friday (which in the Hebrew way of reckoning begins Thursday evening), Saturday and Sunday. Holy Thursday: The Evening Mass of the Lord's Supper preserves two ancient traditions that were once common to every Eucharist. First, the Mass begins with the tabernacle entirely empty. We receive Holy Communion this evening from the bread and wine consecrated at this Mass, not from a previous Mass. Second, the entire community is gathered at this one Eucharist, with all the priests, ministers and parishioners celebrating one Eucharist together. We might expect the Gospel for this Mass of the Lord's Supper to be one of the accounts of the institution of the Eucharist (Mt 26:26-29, Mk 14:22-25, Lk 22:14-20). Instead, the Church presents Jesus washing the feet of his disciples (Jn 13:1-15). And not only do we hear about Jesus washing the feet of his disciples, but we see and experience it. The leader of the parish community takes off his Mass vestment and takes water and a towel and washes the feet of parishioners. Following the Mass of the Lord's Supper, the Eucharist which will be shared tomorrow during the liturgy of Good Friday is taken in procession to a tabernacle prepared for it, and the church is prepared for Good Friday. Good Friday: The liturgy of Good Friday is the most sober of the entire Church year…restrained and straightforward. The altar is bare, without cloths, candles or cross. There is no Mass. It is a day of fasting. There are no greetings, genuflections, opening songs, processions. We simply come and prostrate in humble submission before the Word and the glorious cross of Christ. The Gospel reading is the proclamation of the Passion according to John. If we listen closely we find that this Passion account is very different from the one we heard on Palm Sunday. In John's Gospel, Jesus' power and majesty shine through. Jesus is in control of everything that happens. He carries his cross alone. He is victorious on the cross. Jesus reigns from the tree. The cross is our glory. The instrument of death is the instrument of salvation. The third part of the Good Friday liturgy is unique to this day. A large cross is brought forward. We approach the wood of the cross, the instrument of torture, cruelty and death, and we reverence it with a touch or a kiss! If it were not for the eyes of faith we could never understand this strange, indeed bizarre action: seeing glory in the cross. The Good Friday rites conclude with a simple Communion service with the Eucharist from Holy Thursday's liturgy. Holy Saturday is a day of quiet waiting and preparation for the Easter Vigil. Easter Vigil/Easter Sunday: There are visible changes in the church on this night. The statues of Jesus, or any other saints, which have been veiled during the Passion (most usually throughout Lent), are unveiled for the vigil. The deep colors used throughout Lent are removed and replaced with bright colors. White, often together with gold, is used for garments and vestments while yellow and white flowers are often in use around the altar. On Holy Thursday the entire church is darkened when all the candles and lamps are extinguished. Then, on Saturday, a special fire is lit and blessed. This represents the risen Christ, whose light dispelled the darkness (death). Throughout the year, the Paschal candle is lit in all instances of baptism and in the rituals of death: funeral, Mass of Repose and Mass of Requiem. The Letter of Paul to the Romans makes explicit the fact that this is our resurrection night. "Are you unaware that we who were baptized into Christ Jesus / were baptized into his death? We were indeed buried with him through baptism into death, / so that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, / we too might live in newness of life" (6:3-4). We stand and joyfully sing "Alleluia" (a word we have not heard for 40 days) and the Gospel of the Resurrection is proclaimed: Christ is risen! People desiring to be Roman Catholics (catechumens/candidates) who have completed their training in a Catholic church are formally initiated as members of the faith the Church through the Sacraments of Initiation (baptism, confirmation, and the Eucharist). On the day of Easter the Masses, held throughout the day, are similar in content to the Easter Vigil Mass. However, the Sacraments of Initiation are not performed, and the ritual of the Paschal candle is not performed (the candle is placed next to the ambo, or podium, throughout the Easter celebration). The colors in the church are still white, gold, and yellow signifying the glory of the resurrection.

Thus, we begin the Easter season in the Church. In the Catholic Church, the journey of Christ's death and resurrection does not end on Easter day. The day of Easter is just the beginning of a new season in the Church that is a glorious contrast to the solemn season of Lent. The Easter season extends from the Easter Vigil through Pentecost Sunday on the Catholic calendar, normally the fiftieth day after Easter. On the calendar used by traditional Catholics, Eastertide lasts until the end of the Octave of Pentecost, at Noon of the following Ember Saturday. The Easter octave allows for no other feasts to be celebrated or commemorated during it (possible exception is the Greater Litanies if Easter falls later in the year). If Easter is so early that March 25 falls in Easter week, the feast of the Annunciation is postponed to the following week. Ascension is the fortieth day of Easter, always a Thursday.

So, as you may see, I’ve been a little focused on Jesus the past few days. Well, honestly, Jesus and work is probably a more accurate assessment of the use of my time. Luckily, I have today off of work (with pay, hooray holidays) so I can just relax and veg out for a while. Work has been kind of stressing me out, which is funny because I don’t take my job that seriously. I am cursed with my father’s work ethic, or at least part of it, and a need to make people happy. This coming week shouldn’t be that bad, though, except for the exam on Thursday, but hey, life goes on. I’ve completed my registration for the fall semester and have decided to take the summer off to focus on working and saving up money. I’m going to need that money when I stop working to focus on school full time in the fall. That’s right, no more splitting time between work and school. I’m ready to learn, just learn…not fall asleep during lectures in the back of class with a can of Monster next to me that obviously isn’t working.

Some of you who have followed my blog since way back may remember my "Catholic Answers Series" that I did. If you are one of those, then all this theology in one blog my make you nostalgic. It may be making a come back, my friends.

Wasted Days and Opening Day

Ok, so it has been almost a week, or rather a whole week in and of itself, since my last blog. I did inform everyone last blog about how busy and inebriated my weekend would be. It turned out much as I expected. It had kind of a rough start as Fernando had some travel issues and didn’t get into DFW till almost midnight on Friday. Then, we rushed in a way to Main Street Bar in Richardson to get the weekend started right. I started my weekend with 2 shots and 4 beers in one hour. Rough, but I survived enough to get everyone to Whataburger for some taquitos before bedtime. The next morning as my alarm clock was going off I made the spur of the moment decision to sleep in some more and ended up sleeping till almost eleven. I took Fer to go get his rental car but was turned down by the rental place due to some credit card snafus, so we just sucked it up, reorganized, and went to Snuffers. I, as well as most everyone else, stuffed myself with cheddar fries and a cheddar fry burger in preparation for my evening plans. We went back to the house, blissfully, and got to get to see the video from Fernando’s wedding. I enjoyed seeing myself making an ass out of myself, and though I can’t speak for Jon and Chris, got some pretty good laughs out of it all. Although Fer said the video was only thirty minutes, it ended up being an hour or more, so right afterward we had to all depart our separate ways for our Saturday into Sunday plans. Fernando and Claudia were heading up to Wichita Falls to see Fer’s brother, I packed up and hauled ass to the racetrack, and Jon, well, I’m not sure what Jon did. When I got to the track I settled into the race weekend groove. Everyone was enjoying crawfish and other delicacies, but I was still so stuffed from Snuffers that I couldn’t take it. I started in on the beer. My brother made the “excellent” decision to bring some Natural Light to the track, which was pretty gross, but cheap beer is cheap beer. We sat around the campers and camp chairs, drinking and watching people play cornhole. It was a redneck holiday of sorts. As the evening turned into late night, the Oklahoma boys yelled, “Let’s go see some titties!” So, everyone stuffed a couple beers in their pockets and topped off their mixed drinks to head over to the “parade” where ladies, young and old, attractive and disgusting, would compromise their morals for ten cents worth of plastic beads. It wasn’t that great. In fact, if you were sober enough, you would realize that for twenty dollars you could have a relatively attractive woman’s undivided attention for three or four minutes at an actual titty bar. The hangovers keep most of us in bed till ten the next morning, but the rest of us were shaken out of bed because of the raging winds and freezing cold that came about in the middle of the night. Sleeping on the floor of a camper with an egg-crate beneath me and an old worn blanket was not the best circumstances for this type of weather. But, I toughed it out and enjoyed the excellent breakfast my brother made before heading to the track. The race wasn’t that good and my sister got sick near the end, so they split out early and I was on their heels to beat the traffic. Sunday night we all got together again since we were all back in town and enjoyed some more good times. Claudia was going back Monday morning so we had to work out the driving plan for the game. We boiled it down to Fer taking Claudia to DFW and then going back to Love to drop off his rental car, then me going and picking up both Jon and Josh on the way to getting Fer from Love and going to the ballpark. It turned out like clockwork, but it didn’t mean that everything was fantastic. It was still cold, maybe even colder. Our seats were upper deck, right behind home plate, and when I say upper deck, we were one row down from the top and had the cold North wind at our backs the whole time. But, we won, and I will get to that later. Monday night we were cool out and relaxed, just enjoying our last good times before we all split ways again. I took Fernando over to Jon’s because he was going to stay there that night and Jon was going to take him to the airport because I had to work the next morning. It was such a good weekend that parts of it are just blurs, but I know I had a great time and I know I will miss Fernando till I see him again.

Now on to my Texas Rangers…The Texas Rangers are going to make people forget about those miserable starts of the recent past if they keep playing like it is 1996 again. For the first time since the season of their first AL West title, the Rangers are 3-0. The Rangers can still hit, that has not changed. But if they keep pitching the way Kevin Millwood and the relievers did in a 9-1 opening victory over the Cleveland Indians on Monday, this could finally be their breakout season. Plus, Elvis Andrus hit his first career homer, and Nelson Cruz added two solo shots and three RBIs to lead the Rangers past the Cleveland Indians 8-5 Wednesday. And Marlon Byrd and Ian Kinsler hit long home runs and the Rangers outslugged the Cleveland Indians 12-8 Thursday. Texas, which got its only series sweep last season in late August, is the only American League team still undefeated. The Rangers got off to a 7-16 start last season that raised questions about the future of manager Ron Washington, who made his debut a year earlier with a 20-loss May that pushed Texas to a season-worst 19 games under .500 by mid-June. Texas won its first seven games and went on to win its first AL West title in 1996. They won the division again in 1998 and 1999, but still haven’t won a playoff series. However, with kind of start and the knowing nods and glances we are getting from ESPN, it is hard not to be optimistic about the Rangers chances. Now if you know me, you know I am not a bandwagoner. I am the hardest of hardcore Rangers fans that brave the oppressive heat of Texas summer just to enjoy a game and lives and dies by the numbers on our players stat sheets. I love the Rangers, even though they have not paid off in my previous wagers in their favor. Good thing I only gamble in cookies. Needless to say, Opening Day, and the remaining two games of the week have made me a believer all over again, as if I needed it. How can you not believe it when the former President George W. Bush winds up his right arm with two windmill whirls, then fires a high strike in to help the Texas Rangers start the season?

Best...Weekend...Ever

Why, as a man, do I feel the need to censor myself and hold back on what I say? I’m not a mean or spiteful person. I’m not going to say anything that will hurt anyone. I don’t even usually think that way. More often than not, when I censor myself, it has to do with me protecting myself from what the other person might say. Even worse, it happens in my relationships with the people I care about the most. Why can’t I just say what I am thinking/feeling at the time and let the chips fall where they may? Sure, it may end up hurting me, but it will probably be better than the constant nagging feeling I have after the fact. Sorry, I am beating up on myself a little right now due to a conversation I had earlier. I held back. It was right on the tip of my tongue, or fingertips, depending on the medium, and I just clammed up. I got generic. I dodged saying it even though I wasn’t confronted with saying it. Is this the end of the world? No, far from it, but it’s something that means a great deal to me and I said nothing. Nothing…

Aside from that, I am about to start the ultimate weekend. Let me break it down to you. I have four days off of work. Four…in a row…consecutive. Starting tonight, as soon as I leave this ridiculous stat class, I begin my weekend. The first twenty four hours will consist of me doing basically nothing. I have wanted to do nothing for twenty four hours for four days, since the last time I did so. Continuing into tomorrow night I will pick up my long-lost best friend Fernando and his wife, Claudia, from DFW International Airport with my friend Jon and take them out. Out…for debauchery and silliness in the Big D. They live in Atlanta and are coming to town for two reasons, well, for Claudia one reason, but Fer for two reasons. They are going to meet up with Fernando’s long-lost brother at some point this weekend so Claudia can meet him. I will get to Fernando’s second reason later. Anyway, debauchery, all night long and into the morning in some cases, is the plan for our guests. Then, waking Saturday to charge the batteries and refuel. The day Saturday will be played mostly by ear because of the questions of when/where/whether they will be able to meet up with Fernando’s brother. But, Saturday afternoon/evening, I will be heading out to Texas Motor Speedway for one of the greatest spectacles in sports…a NASCAR Sprint Cup race with my brother and his rowdy race friends. At TMS we will be drinking all night long on Saturday and into the morning hours in some cases, then trying to sleep it off in the camper before going to the race on Sunday. I have invited our visitors and Jon out to the track Saturday night to experience it all. The night before the race is like Woodstock, the Republican National Convention, Sturgis, Mardi gras, and the Super Bowl all rolled into one. I can’t explain it any better than that, but if you asked my brother I’m sure he could come up with something. You just have to experience it first hand to know it. After the race, where my boy Clint Bowyer is probably going to tear it up, I will head back to town for more quality time with my friends. Am I going to dry out at any time…probably not. Monday morning we will shuffle Claudia’s cookies back to the airport and head off to the event I’ve been waiting for since twelve months ago. Texas Rangers Opening Day at the Ballpark at Arlington is probably more exciting than the race, but only slightly. It’s the start of a new year of Rangers baseball and the hope for a playoff bid begins anew. This is a tradition that Jon, Fernando, and I have shared for several years and to which my brother joined last year. It’s boy’s day out. Tailgating, cheering, guessing how old the ball girls and Six Shooters are…it is awesome. Once again, the words escape me, but if you could see me, the giddy look on my face would say it all. I’m sure my classmates are wondering what the hell I’m smiling about in the middle of this damn stat class. After the game will be one more night, just the boys (well, maybe just the boys), doing what we do best…drinking and laughing. Tuesday morning, Fernando will be leaving our world again and life will go back to normal, literally, since I have to work that morning.

All that being said, don’t expect to hear from me for the next few days unless you are one of the lucky few who I grace with drunk texts in the middle of the night. You know who you are. I’ll let ya’ll know how everything turns out sometime next week when all the alcohol leaves my system. Yes, by the way, we practice safety when drinking and designate a driver. But we don’t travel much once we’ve settled into a good rhythm of shots and beers. Hope everyone has a great weekend.

Fascinated...by a woman...

Ok, so I lied to myself. I may have lied to ya’ll too, I don’t know, I don’t read my own blogs once I post them. It is not a serious lie by any means, but it is something I told myself I wouldn’t do and yet I am compelled to do it. Let us start from the beginning. I was flipping through the channels last night, which is something I rarely do because my TiVo offers me an onscreen guide that alleviates the need for such silliness. Anyway, I was flipping through the channels and I came across CNN. I don’t watch CNN that much, to be honest with you, not that I don’t watch the news, but CNN is a little too liberal leaning for my tastes, at least on occasion. So, I came across CNN and Larry King Live is on. Let’s just say that you can take what I said about not watching CNN that much and then double it went applying it to how often I watch Larry King Live. Like I want to sit and listen to an old man in suspenders prattle through “hard-hitting” questions with celebrities and politicians. I don’t care much what Jennifer Aniston’s political point of view is or whether she thinks President Obama is cute. But, last night I had to stop because his first guest was Meghan McCain. Here comes the rub, I had promised myself that I wouldn’t write about Meghan McCain after my first blog about her where I compared her to a unicorn. However, this was a special case where I would get to see a little behind the curtain (un-edited) as to what she really thinks and feels about things. Sure, Larry King probably gives them the questions he is going to ask ahead of time and I would accuse him of using “softball” questions on more than one occasion, but at least I would get to hear her speak.

I know what a lot of you are probably thinking…man, does he have a crush on this girl or what? Well, you can put that question to bed right now, folks. The answer is no. I don’t form crushes on people I’ve never met, talked to, or experienced before. That’s absurd. I pity people who have these celebrity crushes on the people in the limelight with whom they have never exchanged a single word in person, in writing, or otherwise. Ok, pity is a strong word to use, but I guess I just don’t understand it. I admit though, that if I did meet Meghan McCain and she lived up to even half of my expectations of her I probably would have a crush. But what does that say about me that the one “celebrity” I have would potentially have a crush on is not really a celebrity in the traditional sense. She’s more of a political commentator, which isn’t really sexy unless you like politics or you like big words like commentator. Let me not misinform you. I have formed an interest in Ms. McCain that is based on several factors that make up so-called “crush” material, but I’m not part of her fan club (if there is one), I don’t subscribe to her blog, and I don’t have posters of her on my walls. All of which, I use as criteria for identifying a celebrity crush scenario.

All of that aside, I think I gathered a great deal from watching the interview. Ms. McCain said one thing that CNN and Larry King locked onto instantly. When King asked a question about whether Obama seems like the same guy who ran against her dad and how she views him now, Meghan said, “He's our president and when the election was over and when President Obama won, all negative feelings were gone. I support the president.” When asked if she thought that many in the Republican Party want the President to fail, she said, “I don't know, because there are many different personalities within the party. ... I would never want my president to fail, no matter which party is in power.” That struck me as an excellent point to make. Both parties always rail against the opposition when they are in power, but no one ever really stops to think that a president failing means a nation failing. Poignant and well thought out for someone who is about twenty years younger than most policy makers and party leaders. Sure, it is healthy for democracy to have two sides (or more) that fight for what they believe in, but it is unhealthy to wish that one side completely fail so that your side looks better. I know I am hard on President Obama because I don’t believe in his politics, but I would never want him to fail. He could fix the economy, erase the deficit, lower taxes, cure cancer and save a hundred puppies from a burning building, I am still going to rail on him because he is a democrat. But, I will also respect him for his accomplishments, even if not publicly. This is not the only thing I learned from watching the interview, I also learned that Meghan McCain has a tattoo on her foot and is playing to get another on her wrist. She likes tattoos. Kinda makes me want to go out and get that tattoo I’ve been planning on, but not for her, for myself. She is a conservative, motivated, successful woman who has and wants tattoos. Why not me, too?

Ok, enough is enough. Now, I promise I won’t write about Meghan McCain again. Ok, maybe not again…right now she is a fascinating woman to me, and I have a shortage of fascinating women in my life right now. Well, I have a shortage of women in my life right now, period, never mind the fascinating.